It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Okay, so it has been a while since I said anything here. I have been too busy making my own TiVo. That is coming along quite nicely by the way. I just had a coupld of rants to give for the holiday season.

Let me kick this off the proper way so you will know how I feel. First of all, before you read this any further go buy Mr. and Mrs. Smith!!! Right now!!! Has anyone else noticed the amount of post big-screen marketing that has been going on since Turkey Day for this movie? If the marketing agents in this country wanted you to buy this movie any more, they would have to send strippers to your place with beer and pizza. I haven't seen a more senseless overhyping than when Chicken Little was coming out.

Its getting out of control. Do me a favor and watch one quarter of any televised football game. Count the number of times you see the over-hyped, unattractive, thick-lipped Angelina Jolie and her bitch, Brad Pitt. I never wanted to see this movie, but now I think I should be paid some money for having to watch it through the countless commercials spewed from the marketing agents as if it were acidic spit in an Alien movie. But seriously, go buy this movie right now.

The next topic involves a trifecta on traffic. First of all, my hat goes off to those people that have the will power to stay in the left lane regardless of the speed at which other cars in the left lane are approaching. There should be a Real Men of Genius song dedicated to these jerk offs. I always get a picture in my mind of the offending person saying that they pay their taxes too, and deserve to be in that lane. What they really mean is that they deserve to be able to cause accidents too.

Which brings me to my next point; the people that cause accidents on the morning and afternoon commute. This sounds cold, but I would bet many of these accidents could be avoided. Think about this, the person going at or below the speed limit in the left-hand lane forces the person in a hurry into another lane and possibly others. The traffic gets slower and slower as the person in a hurry goes more towards the shoulder. This is dangerous. The autobahn has a law that you cannot pass on the right, and that leads to less traffic accidents. You do the math. Or take the idiots who can't seem to pack their truck properly or cannot afford a rope. Just this weekend, a piece of sheet metal almost hit us on the highway! And I have had a ladder fall out right in front of me, again on the highway. Listen, ass clown, try to hold off moving your brother or starting up your construction company until you can afford a rope. Think 'proactive.'

I am to my last point on traffic. This one goes out to the big truck owners out there in suburbia. I am glad you finally got that truck you had you eye on. That's right, the one that takes diesel and fits in a space bigger than some peoples' apartments. This month is truck month again after all, so you can go get one too if you need that to haul hay over to your house in Rich Suburbia Pass. It just feels unamerican to use up less gas in a day than that of a 747 traveling from Europe to the US... the long way. I mean if you stop driving your F-8million, the terrorists win, right?

Every day I go to work, I am faced with the fact that idiot good old boys drive themselves to work in these pollution factories and completely fail at the task of parking. And why is that they all want to back into their parking spots?? Is there like a waiver you have to sign before you drive it off the lot that says you will cause back-ups in parking lots across the state by insisting that you CAN make it into that spot marked 'compact' AND that you can do it in reverse? Today I got to work and tried to pull into a spot. I was immediately feeling the rage when I couldn't get a wide enough turn going to pull in the spot I was headed for because of a backed-in F-34972650, so I was forced into a 3-point turn into the spot. Then, on top of that, the truck across from the spot I pulled into, had backed in and taken up 1/4 of my spot. Right now, the ass-end of my car is hanging in the isle, which isn't a big deal apparently because these assholes do it everyday. Thanks for making the roads a little more dangerous for everyone else while making your sure your imbecile life continues.

***DISCLAIMER - I know some people need trucks for work and what not. This is not for you.