Just a little note about dress code

I am writing this aside to let my fellow engineers on a subject that misses many of their radars; fashion. As a software guy, I get that there are plenty of engineers out there who just don't care how they look. This isn't for you. This is for the engineer who cares but simply can't grasp the idea that a braided 'Zach Morris' belt is not in style.

Add the braided belt as the first thing to burn in a raging fire of new-found style... well let's hold off on that term just yet. Shall we? Another big deal around the office is the short sleeved button up. For each one of these you own, you must take the braided belt and slap your own back one time. Then the next time you are in a store and think its a 'nice' shirt, you be startled to non-self-destructive taste with this memory.

This might be difficult, but try to imagine a closet without pleated pants. Well first try to imagine a closet without pleated jeans. Think What About Bob... baby steps. Seriously? Jeans? I can't believe you still look at these and think "That'll look okay." Get over this and you'll be getting there. Also, if you are a victim of jorts - and if you are wondering what that means then you are - get rid of them. They will explode and kill you.

Finally, look down at your shoes. If you have tassles on them, toss them. Then go buy some Kenneth Coles. Not cool. Not cool at all. Now go forth and and create with style.

Gaming != Disease

I just finished reading an article that I found pretty interesting about whether or not the gaming is an addiction. This is yet another case of blaming the wrong thing here. Read it and then get my feedback... if you want.

First of all, I know I really like Counter-strike and look forward to playing it sometimes. When I am sitting at work for instance, and I'm bored out of my mind, I can't wait to get home to play it. Then again, once I actually get home I can easily be persuaded to sit on the couch, play guitar, or even read a book. I also realize that I don’t get into playing bots (or computer-only competition) and would rather play against other people. The aspect of competition is being disregarded here.

Second, I think what you need to do is blame the person here; not the game. Again, while I enjoy CS quite a bit and have taken long periods to play only it, I also somehow find the urge to eat and sleep and definitely am able to take a shower. The game is not at fault for what this idiot person is doing to or has done to themselves. This is the same as blaming alcohol for drunk driving when it is really the idiot behind the wheel who can’t control himself. Before you go pointing fingers you need to make sure it is pointed in the right direction.

You can't stay mad at me...

She is my favorite person-that-I-met-about-two-years-ago-and-still-adore-
even-though-she-is-living-over-seas-and-I-barely-
know-her-ish person. I am writing her to let her know that although I called her a firecracker and play the whole back-and-forth argument game with her, I still adore her. She doesn't know these things because we haven't talked face to face since we met. You've seen her around salivating at the thought of thwarting the ideas in my most recent post in its respective comments section. She just read that and got steaming mad, but the truth is that is why I like her; hell that is why we all like her. Her abrasive tone and ability to catch me in my own mis-comments is what keeps me paying attention. So come on back. Don't be shy. I heard that you are not happy with me. Don't be that way. Come on, give me some sugar.

I enjoy your blogs as well, Sweetie, and I sincerely try to leave good comments on yours: ones that will stimulate more conversation. I just meant to point out that you seem to disagree with me a lot, that's all. It isn't something we can't get past. I mean we have so much history, it would be a shame to let it all go now. I should post an Boys II Men song here so you know how I really feel.

By the way, has anyone else noticed that Gilbert Godfried is not only not funny, but might be kin to Richard Simmons?

My favorite bands are Def Leppard, Bon Jovi, and Terrible Generic Band #24

Hey, have you checked out the new U2 album?? Geez, it really is a stroke of genius! Bono is so dreamy and the Edge really gets me pumped! I know it gets a lot of hype, but this time it's for real!! I mean you have heard that song "Vertigo" from the ipod commercial right? Well just imagine the rest of the album. Manufactured, ready-to-eat music taste is so delicious!!

The above person has lost all sense of taste in music and, therefore, all sense period. Notice the abuse of exclamation marks. As well as the hurried feel in which they talk. This is a classic case of not needing to watch anymore TV or listen to anymore radio. That said, let's take a look at some the most overrated bands of all time. The following are just a bunch of bands that belong in this group in no particular order except for the last two. They deserve a place at the top. Oh and by the way, I know I am a music snob. I am reminded all the time. Drink it down.

Green Day
I'll admit when I was a kid I fell victim to an album called "Dookie." When you are a kid, that kind of foul-mouthedness is hard to pass up. But let's get real, a little research says they have released about 5 or 6 albums since then. None of them have had tricky names to dupe the youngins, so what the hell is going on here. They are everywhere now. Please help thwart this uprising of terrible music. "Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road..." Shit! Where did that come from? "...An American idiot..." Oh dear, sweet God. Make this stop!

U2
This was obviously going to make the list. "With or Without You" - yes. "Sunday Bloody Sunday" - yes. Everything else - No. Stop spending $100 for general admission tickets, people. Instead, go get some bad American beer, some firecrackers, and a large trash can. Climb inside and light the fuse. When you emerge you will be a lot better off than the guy who just sat through a 2 hour beating at the high-priced concert. Also, 'f' that stupid ipod idea.

Aerosmith
Ok. Here again. Their old stuff is good: from when they started, all the way through Pump. After that it gets pretty dismal pretty quick. They apparently spent the next year deriving a formula for their sound, and boy did it ever work. What a shame.

The Beatles
Yeah, yeah, I know you are only reading this now after posting a nasty, hasty comment, my little sheep, but the truth is... I don't get it. I can remember when that Anthology album came out, and I was forced to sit through such beatings in almost every car where I wasn't in control of the stereo. The worst part is that most people only wanted to listen to their little early poppy tunes. Oh Walrus and McCartney, why didn't you get into drugs sooner. See the thing with the Beatles is that they got better with time, unlike most bands. Then you have Lennon's solo stuff which is really good. The reason they make this list is because of the songs that people celebrate most. They are the reason their fame is so out of control and all this adds up to O-VER-RA-TED (clap, clap, clap, clap, clap... think college football here).

Def Leppard
For about a quarter of a century now, these douche rockets have been touring. The question I pose is "Why?" Yeah, yeah, I get that they have that one-armed drummer. That is neat... for all of 13 seconds, but I get easily distracted when my ears are bleeding. Sorry. It never fails; if you are in a bar full of frat-tastic fuck heads, you will hear that "Pour Some Sugar on Me" song. Take a look at their album called Rock of Ages, which outlines thier hits presumably, and you will realize that these assholes are still touring off that song!!

AND now for the two most overrated, abrasive, caustic, unhealthy, pop-whorish, makes-me-contemplate-suicide-ish bands on the face of the Earth...

Van Halen
I am not talking about a feud between those fans who prefer David Lee Roth over Sammy "Cabo Wabo" Hagar here. In fact, I don't see that the topic provides the necessary equipment for a feud. Take a look at the definition and you will see what I am talking about. This band sucks. Plain and simple. If you disagree you are just an 80's teen still stuck in that overwhelming media frenzy that started after a "guy could play guitar real good." This band shares the top spot because they have no redeeming qualities, but people will literally fight you if you "talk shit about Halen, Buddy." I don't even want to go on vacation in Cabo for fear of seeing Samuel down there.

Bon Jovi
I almost put this one at the top by itself, but Van Halen fans suck too bad. Bon Jovi is the longest-running pop campaign I have ever seen. Shit, they've outlasted Madonna. They get will not be outdone at the frat-tastic bars either. They lie in wait until after the one Def Leppard song is played and immediately blast "Livin' on a Prayer" and "Shot Through the Heart" in an easy-to-disguise seamless fashion back to back. Anybody that puts out a song with the title having an apostrophe where a letter should be should not have an album or be famous. They should in fact be forced to go to a school of good taste. I write music and I would never, EVER, do anything like that. You are supposed to be your toughest critic and that shit just doesn't fly. Fuck Bon Jovi and fuck endin' words with apostrophes (unless you are showing an ownership to many). It just looks ignorant.

TV... it's the best and the worst

Alright, we all have our favorite shows and events to watch on TV. Or maybe you are just dealing with your laziness with a healthy dose of the brain-fryer. Either way you are a consumer of the old tube, nay, you are a conossieur of TV-land. With the weather outside a this moment, I wish I could go back there, lay on my couch, and immerse myself in the web of comedic genius of 7th Heaven or the non-stop heart-pounding drama that is Family Guy. Those 7th Heaven writers are so spot-on... you know?

But you know what really grinds my gears?

"Engineer"
Let me first address the over-use of the word engineer. You probably haven't noticed this if you are not, in fact, an engineer yourself. The idea that someone has engineered anything being sold on an infomercial really gets me. Do you think the Topsy-tail was really "engineered" to reality by its most-likely tooth- and degree-less creator? And I am talking High School degree here. It reminds me of that scene in Wayne's World where the guy stops buy with the Suck-kut (sp?). Anyway the guy is demonstrating it and Wayne says "Well, it certainly does suck."

Obviously, I have a vested interest in the overuse of this word, but honestly, look at how it is used. I am fine with the train drivers' titles. They probably get first dibs here. Everyone else though (the guys at the radio stations, all the other techie people in the entertainment industry, and or any trade school grad without an Engineering degree) should not be called engineers. I worked my ass off to get here and have enough debt to show for it. I am tired of this shit.

The funny thing is, we engineers would never say anything like that. We usually just say that we'll "design" something. Oh well, my eruption of animosity is proabably firmly seated in my anger with advertising anyway. Which brings me to my next point.

Marketing
I think marketing with commercials does nothing and you could not convince me otherwise. The only way I would concede that marketing through commercials works is if I was actually impressed with the products merits themselves. Not because the commercial is funny or there is some hot chick in the commercial. Aside from regular commercials, you also get the two-for-the-price of one bullshit. Take Geico commercials. They are famous for this.

Then the other ones that drive me crazy are the station specific hyping of their own programs. This seems to be worse on cable stations like Comedy Central or VH1. This past weekend I saw a classic example of this. I was watching a couple of shows on VH1 and there was a commercial for this new show "But Can They Sing?" VH1 felt the need to play this commercial at every break but somehow stifled the feeling to record more than one promo! This is like catching old news over and over. And let me tell you...