MUDRUN!!!

When I first came to work here, I pulled the classic get-involved-with-others schtick that people do when they move to a new city. I heard about a 10K mud run that my co-workers were signing up for and immediately voiced my interest. I wasn't too concerned with the distance as I run a lot during the week, and then I also found out that the mud part only pertained to obstacles. I was sold.

As the day came closer, we went as a team and got some shitty clothes from Goodwill and some rather shitty boots (they require you to wear boots) from the Army Navy Surplus store. They were water-proof to boot!

Finally the day was here. That is me on the right with the poor attempt at wolverine hair. In the middle is my completely heterosexual man-crush. Hilarious guy I work with. We were ready to run with the Marines (that is who put this thing together). All in all there would be 18 different obstacles along the way. Some of which would be worse than others. All of which would be heavily involved with mud.

We ran with the Co-ed group, obviously, and started out strong. We went through the first obstacle like champs. It was a crawl-on-your-stomach obstacle in the mud. They event organizers wasted no time with getting us dirty. We came to that realization as we dove into cold, muddy, waist deep water. It was about 65 degrees Fahrenheit outside and my man-bits said bye-bye. When we got out, our new boots were holding enough water to quench the alcoholic thirst of a hundred Ruskies.

About a mile in my asthma (insert nerd joke here, asshole) kicked in, which doesn't happen anymore when I run. Ever. The rest of the race allowed the girl in our group to lose both of her soles of her shoes, one of the guys to lose a chunk of skin off of his hand, convinced me that my toenail had fallen off and was floating around in my shoe with one gallon of filthy water, and another runner in our group to fall about 5 feet and onto his back along the final stretch.

With all the mud and wetness involved, some of the obstacles became dangerous. There was one in particular that you climb up about 30 feet (it's in the pictures on the website), climb over the top and descend back down. The up and down was easy; it was the over-the-top that was scary. On the way back we had to do this one again. On the over-the-top part, on which there is no one to help you if things go wrong, I lost my balance when the foot that I threw over lost its hold in the mud. I had to grab hold of the structure with my thighs like that chick in the Bond movie just to keep from falling.

A quick side note, on one of the obstacles that we had crawl through a ditch there was a drill instructor screaming at us to "Get out of [his] ditch!" When the moment was right, I yelled back at him that he really shouldn't have put his ditch in the middle of the race. The end of the race was finally upon us after the rope swing and we looked spectacular.

We didn't do to bad either. We finished in the top half. You can check the results here. Our team name was Voltron. Know it. Love it. The guy on the right is the one who fell. It almost looks like he is in pain. For the record, I threw away all the clothes that I wore to this, and my shower was left with a ring of dirt, which I discovered well after I finished my shower. Everyone agreed that next year we do it all again.

What are you listening to?

Here is a list of bands that I am listening to. The ones I really like are marked with an asterisk.

Coheed and Cambria **
My Chemical Romance **
Paramore **
The Academy Is…
Alkaline Trio
Boys Night Out
Taking Back Sunday **
Hellogoodbye *
Funeral For A Friend *
The Faint *
Head Automatica
Dashboard **
Killers *
A Static Lullaby
The Juliana Theory
Further Seems Forever
From First To Last
Hidden in Plain View

Music of a different variety:
Keane *
Iron and Wine
Jack Johnson
Brand New
Elliott Smith **
Nick Drake *
The Spill Canvas

I think about covers it for now. Two stars means I really likey. I have been meaning to check out The Arcade Fire (or something like that). Here is a website that you can see other bands that you might like if you just put in a band you already like. I also saw some sort of community where you put in music you like, build it up, and eventually you get suggestions on other things to listen to. I saw it on a G4 TV show called Call For Help. You guys got any other suggestions?

I will be posting a story about this mud run thing I did a couple of weeks ago later today.

Update on Comments

So a little birdy told me that you can add the option of word verification to cut down on spam commenters. Thank you my Euro-friend. Another birdy of a more North American influence told me that she couldn't leave comments because she wasn't a registered user. I thought I had allowed anyone, but she was right. Now ANYONE can leave a comment after they use the word verification thingy.

Hope you guys are doing well. I am going to the UT vs. Texas Tech game this weekend! I am sure something will happen to piss me off, which translates into something delightful for you to read upon my return.

"GIT-R-DONE RAIDERS, GIT-UR-GUNZ-UP!!!!"
-Tortilla throwin' Tech fan #8720

Best Drunk Food

Its about drunk-thirty in the morning and you start feeling ravenous as the worry about where your left shoe went fades away. Turning to your sess than lober friend, Drunky McMixed-Drink, you convey this feeling among slurred speech and accented sloberings. As he picks himself back up off the ground, he curses that agile-moving curb and concurs that anything greasy and unhealthy would "REALLY hit the spot, dude."

Two scenarios occur here for me. If in Austin, TX, you frequently beat the worst decision of the night out of its spot by eating at "Best Wurst," then producing a trump card by getting on the putrid drunk-smelling E-bus and seeing if you can hold that sucker in until you get off the bus.

The other scenario seems to occur everywhere else outside of the immediate smelling-radius of "Best Wurst." It's science. The bidding starts with...

5. Wendy's
Oh Wendy's with the spicy chicken that eludes tiresome tastebuds on drunken nights. How I love you. I am rarely disappointed with this choice as it is ALWAYS close to wherever you are, unlike your bank's ATM. Just to make it worth your while, you might as well get two.

4. Whataburger
Did you know that Whataburger serves breakfast like 10 hours a day?! This really comes through late at night when I can really go for what they call a Taquito, but what we all know as a breakfast taco. Not only that, but those chicken baskets. Oh man those golden fried chicken strips. They are so good you would sear they are beer battered. Then that piping hot gravy and the soggy salty fries. Talk about preventative hangover care. Too bad this isn't covered by my insurance.

3. Pizza
You can always order it, always. It always comes to you in that case. You are drunk and watching a movie, but you aren't really watching it. You are either fighting to stop the room spinning, trying to stay awake, or really fantasizing about how good that pizza will be once your first layer of skin is burned off. Then again, in Austin you get Roppolo's as soon as you step out of the bar. Red pepper on your slice never tasted this good.

2. Taco Si
Taco C is open 24 hours and so is their dining room. That means that drunks can convene amidst other drunks and chart-topping mariachi music in a semi-mexican food eating fest free for all. There is nothing like attending one of these functions only to be reminded of it the next morning by a massive stain on your clothes smelling of roasted mystery meat. By the way have you heard that Taco C commercial on the radio with the guy talking about his grandmother? I think that guy is an alcoholic too!

1. Queso
Really that sums it up. Queso is the best stuff in the world. There is only one thing better than queso, and that's Kerby Queso. Another Austin reference, but that is what you get when you move from the most happennin' town in TX to a town that boasts about the Stockyards and calls itsef Cowtown. Remember tearing into a huge unfinishable bowl of queso and letting it drip into your goatie or you lap? It's still there in the morning too, just let you know that it's thinking about you. What a good buddy queso is. Creamy. Yellow. Queso.

Comments anyone?

Ok ok, I know you are doing me a favor by stopping by, but I don't know you've been here unless you leave a message after the tone. I realize also that you are not stopping by unless you are my friend and I have told you about this. I won't strike it rich with a blog unless I post PRON or apparently talk about shoes.

Truth is I just want to know you stopped by and what you thought. Leave a comment of firey resistance if you have to, or tell me how hysterical I am not. It is sad when the only comment I have is from some sort of SPAMMER. Even then, they probably just have a bot that goes and puts this guy's shit in my comments section. Let me know you stopped by, and I apologize for the lameness of some recent posts.

You Gonna Eat That?

Why is it that grocery stores, at least in the US, got together and decided to not only buy the worst food possible for us to consume, but to further this insane poisoning by producing a store on every corner?

Here's the thing. Most people probably don't notice this. Obviously so, or else the big chains would be out of business. I noticed it because in order to live normally, I have to. See I was blessed with the stomach of a 70 year old right out of the gate. People like me suffer usually from some stomach acid issues combined with asthma because of the toxins we take in from food, water or anything else we consume. If you are in disbelief, go grab something you bought at the store. Turn that puppy over and read the ingredients ALOUD. If you sound like you are just learning to read or like you suddenly developped a rainman complex, you are probably reading some chemical that you have never heard of.

How about any partially hydogenated XXXX or high fructose XXXX. That translates to trans fat and sugar. Your bread probably has at least one if not both. That means the sandwiches that should be a good, light meal are bad for you on all accounts - mayo is bad... period, processed meat is terrible and cage raised with more hormones than that bitch you wish you never dated in high school, and the cheese is from who knows where.

I should probably point out that I eat well, or at least as well as the grocery store allows. I never go out to eat at lunch (I bring it to work), I eat lots of fruit and yogurt for breakfast, and I eat light dinners like soups or chicken. I rarely eat red meat, even more rarely drink sodas, never drink coffee, and drink almost only water. Granted I like to drink, but in truth that is only like 2 nights a week. All of this should add up to healthy or at least somewhat, but all signs point to the exact opposite. Truthfully, I don't think I would be doing much worse if I ate out every meal. Even the water you drink, trendy bottled water or otherwise, unless it is reverse osmosis filtered water, has some toxin in it.

My point is, why do the people that run these stores continue to poison people?

Truthfully, you probably won't feel the effects of this crap until you are too old to care. Not only that, it's cheaper and lasts longer. Typical American attitude suggests that our society is more price point than anything else. Well not me. I never have been. So I suppose I will join ranks with the dreaded "rich hippies" at Whole Foods and Central Market that I used to despise so much. I damn the big grocers for driving me to this. BLAST!